Two weeks into November and I’ll be honest. I’m not feeling very thankful lately. I’m feeling tired and overwhelmed, annoyed, stressed, on the verge of breakdown. I’m really good at not feeling inconvenient feelings. I can push down and over-look and put on a cheery face with the best of them. But after 3 months of single-ish parenting and making sure things get done and trying to not mope around, I really just want to mope around. I want to put on my ugliest sweatpants, throw my hair in a messy bun, take out my contacts, cuddle up on the couch and watch trashy TV with salty chips and spicy salsa, rich chocolate brownies and wine. Definitely wine.
It turns out that the training we thought would be done by Thanksgiving will actually be done by Christmas. Hopefully. So another month. The best month. The month I had so many plans for. I’ve been aware of this probability for a couple of weeks, but now it’s official. Flights have been cancelled and rearranged and pushed back. I can’t control any of it and I don’t like it. He is coming home for Thanksgiving, which I am very thankful for. But then we say good-bye again.
For the life of me, I cannot pull myself out of these negative thoughts on my own. So I’m turning to the only one who can help me get out of my own head.
All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:15-16
God’s going to give me strength and renew me every day. That’s all I really need.
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:7
I’m thankful to have faith in God, who is always there for me, always watching over me. He’s got a plan I know nothing about and if I just keep trusting, I’ll be fine.
Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. Psalm 106:1
Here’s to a better week ahead, trusting God to give me strength.