I’m an obsessor. I obsess over things. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean I take action on those things, but I do let them invade every part of my brain and affect my whole life. Take those dishes in the sink, for example. I’ve been thinking about those dishes all night and this morning. They’re already making me grumpy. Does that mean I’ve gotten up to put them in the dishwasher or, heaven forbid, wash them by hand? Nope. I’m just sitting here letting them piss me off.
At the other extreme, I can obsess over things and focus my entire life to them. Like fitness, for example. When I start a fitness routine I am all. in. My schedule revolves around working out, my eating is strict and every calorie and macro is counted, I make myself sick forcing water down, and I’m always looking for ways to up the intensity. Naturally, as a homeschooling mother of three with a husband who is frequently gone for extended periods of time, this is not a lifestyle I can be consistent about. Nor do I want to. So when I fall, I fall hard. I stop all exercising, because in my mind if I can’t do it all, why even do anything? I eat junk, including gluten, which has proven itself an enemy again and again. I fill my cup with more coffee than my body can process. And then I start the self-hate talk.
I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to show my kids that it’s possible to be healthy without losing touch with real life. I want to teach my daughter especially that the worth of a woman is not measured in waistlines and bust sizes, and that taking care of yourself is about so much more than burning calories and tracking steps.
So I’m doing this slowly, trying to form healthy, nourishing habits without going off the deep end. My new friend Sara has started Faithful Finish Lines and I’m joining in. It’s a 7 week program dedicated to Re-creating yourself to be who God created you to be. Straight from her website:
Faithful Finish Lines are God-given, short-term fitness goals that balance with family priorities, promote eating for energy, and include mission and fun. These goals help you lose the guilt, grow stronger, and become who God created you to be!
I’ll fill you all in once a week on Mondays with my progress. This week we’re keeping a food log. I’m good at that. I’m also going to throw in drinking more water and less coffee, because, well, I need to.
I’m excited to start! I’m hoping I’ll get into some sort of shape so I can start training for a sprint triathlon I’m doing in May. I was a victim of peer pressure for that one. Now I need to find a way to get back at her.