I’m Awkward, I know

November 2, 2014November 4, 2014 by theseordinarygraces In Friends, To Myself 13 Comments

Let me just tell you that I’m socially awkward. I was reminded of this on two separate occasions this weekend already. When I’m around people I’m not normally around, my brain just goes blank and I end up staring at people for a little too long while I try to think of something to say. Then later, I can easily think of a million things to talk about. It’s really obnoxious.

I go into these situations ready to blow people’s minds with my awesomeness. Not really. Listen, I seriously have to give myself pep talks. But it doesn’t matter. I find myself  gravitating to the least occupied corner of the room. Extrovert I am not. I look at all these women who can flit from one conversation to the other with amazing expertise and just imagine how awesome it would be. I’d love to be that person who always knows the right thing to say and when to say it. Now, give me a few minutes and I’ll get there, but in the moment? Nope. Nada. Zip.

But I’m the person to sit and have coffee with one on one. I could talk to one person for hours about all different kinds of things, really get in there deep and get to know someone. That’s what I’m comfortable with. That’s what I love. I’m not into small talk. I’m horrible at it. I often tell people more than they want to know or make jokes that aren’t really that funny.

So if you’re one of the many people who’s thought, “Wow. That girl is weird,” I agree with you. You’re totally right and I’m sorry if I’ve ever stared at you for too long or followed you around the room on accident. I’m working on it, but I can’t promise anything. Let’s grab some coffee or, better yet, wine and I’ll show you that I can be normal. Sort of.