Blessed

Five months. Wes has been at Tinker for five months. We’ve seen him on average once every other week or so. It could be worse, I’ll admit that. Sometimes I think him coming back so often could be making it worse for the kids. They get so upset when people leave the house, like they think they won’t see someone for weeks on end.

We are all so very tired of this instability. Fed up with the not knowing and the maybes. Annoyed with hopes being dashed. Claustrophobic in a house that isn’t really ours with things that don’t belong to us.
It is curious to me that in the place I grew up, surrounded by so many people I love, I have felt lonelier here then a thousand miles away. There is something about this military life, something about the people, that connects us in deep, sudden ways. There is comfort in knowing the girl next door woke up alone today, just like you did. There is freedom in inviting a friend for dinner, knowing you aren’t intruding on family time.
I have a tendency to think negative thoughts. I’m not the bubbly, all is okay girl. I’m more of the brooding artist. Without the artist part. But there are some positives to this TDY that even I can’t deny.

1. We get to spend time with family that we honestly won’t see much for the next three years.
2. We get the opportunity to save some money for when we get to Alaska and the military inevitably messes up Wes’s paycheck. Just keeping it real, folks.
3. I suppose, if I’m thinking realistically, it’s a good prep for a deployment that will be coming soon.
4. I get to be here to snuggle my sweet baby nephew for a few weeks!

I’m sure there are more, but they must be a little too much of a stretch for my dark mind. I just need to keep reminding myself of these things for the next few weeks. Until then, I need to keep reminding myself that this is a blessing in disguise. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll just keep looking at these cute little toes. ‘Cuz nothing cheers me up like baby feet!

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