You Mean I Don’t HAVE to Feel This Way?

The idea that I would have a food intolerance has never ever crossed my mind. In fact, for some unjustifiable reason, I’ve always been proud that I could answer “no” to questions about any of our family having food allergies. I don’t know why, it’s silly really. I mean, it’s not because of anything I did that my kids don’t have allergies. And Ben IS allergic to penicillin. And the boys are both color blind, which totally runs in my family.

Anyway, I just never thought I’d have a food intolerance. Until I got an email entitled “Is your healthy food making you sick?”. The email was from a blog I subscribe to called Simple Mom so I opened it and read it just to see what it was about. I answered some of the rhetorical questions: “Do you get sick after eating?” -no. “Do you get stomach cramps after eating?” -sometimes. But I just attributed that to pigging out a little to much. At the end of the blog was a link to a quiz that would tell you your possibility of having a food intolerance. A QUIZ!!! I LOVE QUIZZES!!!!  It took me back to the days of ‘Seventeen’ magazine and quizzes that told me how fashionable I am or if a boy liked me as just a friend or more then that. So I took the quiz. Turns out I have a “Very high likelihood” of having an intolerance to some food. Now, this link took me to a legit site, not some site where any Jo Shmo can make up a quiz and post it. I answered ‘yes’ to things I would never have considered symptoms- brain fog (I DO have 3 kids and an absent husband right now), severe mood swings, over-full feeling (so I’m not really a big pig!), lack of motivation, inability to lose weight (I’ve lost some, but can never shed those last pounds) and some others you just don’t care to know about.

Turns out I have about 15 things that combined point towards a food intolerance. Not an allergy, an intolerance. My body won’t shut down if I eat it. I don’t have severe gastrointestinal distress if I eat it, but my body and this food are more like frenemies.

As suggested I just started at the top of the list and decided to do an elimination diet. I started with gluten because it was number one. I didn’t consult my doctor because I seriously have just as much training in nutrition as most doctors (did you know that most M.D. programs only require one or two nutrition classes?) and I just don’t go to the doctor. If you want to try it, maybe you should talk to your doctor.

So Sunday was day number one of no gluten. The only change I noticed is that I didn’t feel the need to don maternity pants after dinner.

On Monday I woke up and didn’t feel like someone punched me in the face!!! I also felt less tired and I continued to feel comfortably full after I ate.

Tuesday all these improvements continued plus I felt like someone stuck a Swiffer duster into my brain and cleared out all the cobwebs. My eyes stopped feeling itchy and swollen, some blemishes I had (which Grace informed me she didn’t like) had cleared up, and I felt like I could conquer the world. I also weighed myself and found that I had lost 3 of the 6 pounds I haven’t been able to lose. I haven’t been eating a lot healthier. I just substituted rice for pasta. I bought some gluten free cookies and bread, too.

Wednesday I just felt really good. I even talked to Wes about how his training is taking forever and ever and ever and didn’t feel extremely depressed, moody or angry.

So there we have it. I am gluten intolerant. It’s weird. And a little intimidating. A little depressing when I think about chocolate cake and pasta and the bread from my favorite restaurant. But I did discover that  Original Lays potato chips are gluten free and so is the burrito bowl from Chipoltle. And that’s all I really need.

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